What love is not.


Last week I said there were two devotional times that had me pondering deeply. One was discussed last week, that Jesus had no voice.

This week my pondering is about what love is…and isn’t. 


I was doing homework in Walking as Jesus Walked when I read some of the most well-known passages in what is commonly referred to as the chapter of love, 1 Corinthians 13. Almost everyone has heard portions of this chapter in a wedding ceremony at one time or another.


The homework directed me first to list what love IS.

The famous verses were copied by my own hand…

Love is patient, kind, rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things endures all things (1 Cor. 13:4, 6, 7).

Quite frankly, I have heard these enough that the verses are nearly memorized.


Then the morning’s homework asked me to list what love is NOT.

My hand copied the verses not so famous (1 Cor. 13: 5-6):

Love does not



[not ever]

Love is not



[to those that are, don’t call it love]

Love does not

insist on it own way


Love is not



[oh, no]

Love does not

rejoice in wrongdoing.


I just sat and stared.

  • Have I ever envied, even the tiniest little bit?
  • Have I ever boasted, even the least little bit? The tiniest of exaggeration? Have I ever offered someone a good thing about myself just for some attention?
  • Have I ever been rude?
  • Have I ever insisted on my own way? Notice this does not refer to giving my opinion or stating my preference, but insisting on my way. Have I ever dug in my heals over matters that weren’t sin?
  • Have I ever been irritable?
  • Have I ever been resentful?
  • Have I ever rejoiced in my naughtiness, or sinned with celebration or been cavalier in my disobedience?


There was something about this particular morning.

Sure, I have called these things sin, but connecting these behaviors to not being LOVE was a new lens.

You see, I want to be a woman of love and have prayed that I become one. It struck me that morning that whenever I exhibit the behaviors listed above, I am NOT love. In those moments the Holy Spirit is NOT in control of my life. In those moments I am living a powerless life, disconnected from my Savior.

Reading this list of what love is NOT convicts me.


I am a mess.

I need a Savior.

And I still want to be a woman of love, though I have a long way to go.

I saw a t-shirt in a store this week that said, “I am sorry, but I told you I was hangry.” (Hangry: when someone is hungry and angry at the same time.)

In light of Scripture, our wrongdoings while irritable aren’t love because love is not irritable. We are without excuse because the Holy Spirit of God can overcome any obstacle that makes it harder to stay connected and live in His power…even being hungry at the end of a long day.

In light of Scripture, the t-shirt says, “I am sorry. Being hangry was no excuse.”


Let’s re-set our love button and not let the world tell us love is a watered down version of the real thing.

To all of my blog readers, Happy St. Patrick’s Day from your Irish blogger.


© 2016 by Oaks Ministries. All rights reserved.

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Planting and Watering

I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth. So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes growth.

1 Corinthians 3:6

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