For I have not spoken on my own authority, but the Father who sent me has himself given me a commandment–what to say and what to speak. (John 12:49)
I have had two devotional times lately that have set me on a journey of thought. One of them included this verse.
It got me thinking.
Jesus never said what he wanted to say. He never threw in his own opinion. He only spoke what God said for Him to speak.
I wrote the following in all CAPS that day in my notebook: JESUS HAD NO VOICE.
What I meant was, Jesus had no voice of His own.
I have been chewing on this ever since.
You see, I want my voice to be heard. I want my husband to at least ask me what I think, even if he settles on a different direction than what I had in mind.
I don’t think it’s because I am prideful, and I don’t think I am always right.
I don’t think I am trying to control or get my way.
I think the opportunity to speak my mind is what makes me feel seen. It’s part of what makes me feel valued.
Yet here I am faced with the reality that my Savior never–not once–threw His own voice into the mix.
What do I do with that?
I have always understood that since Jesus was both 100% God and 100% man that He and God were united as one. It was impossible for Jesus to sin, for example, because He was 100% God.
But Jesus veiled is deity to model what it’s like to be a man.
However, Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. (Philippians 2: 5,6)
One of the reasons Jesus showed up to dwell among us in the flesh was to show us how to live a life in communion with God, to model for us how it’s done.
Jesus let God teach Him what to say.
…I do nothing of my own authority, but speak just as the Father taught me. (John 8:28)
Jesus modeled how to submit to God in everything.
- Even in every word we speak.
- Even in every thought we think.
- Even in every move we make.
We are not our own. We have been bought with a price.
So my words do not belong to me either. They are to be a constant reflection of the Father through the Spirit of God that dwells in me.
What about my blog?
Am I vying to be heard with this space? I can honestly say I am not. I just want to make some space for Jesus to be talked about. I am trusting that whatever he wants to do with this space of mine, He is free to do it.
What about my relationships?
Ah, somehow that is different, especially in my relationships with my husband and children. Since they are my family, I want to be known by them. I want them to be my safe place. I want them to cherish me.
I confess that I want to be heard by them…
so that I do not feel invisible and meaningless.
But that is not their role in my life. I must release them from that obligation.
Only God needs to see me. He is the only one who can see me clearly anyway…without error…through and through.
In thinking about my voice this week,
- I know I have spoken when I should not have.
- I know I have spoken what I should not have.
Lord, I give you my voice…again…at a newer level of understanding.
Following the model of my Savior, I desire to only speak what you direct me to speak.
That will lead to real freedom.
Can I ever completely relax and say what I want?
Prayer. In prayer God can hear it all. I can say it all. I can be me.
Just like when Jesus was facing the cross, He let God know how He felt.
Then He finished with, Not my will, but thine by done.
Always what the Father wanted.
May the same become true of me.
© 2016 by Oaks Ministries. All rights reserved.