Grief and Healing in a Time Warp
October 20, 2024
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But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. (2 Peter 3:8)
Anniversary of the phone call.
On October 18, 1986 at 1:00, I received a phone call that my brother Dan had been in a motorcycle accident. After 8 days in a coma, Dan died. His death has been the #1 event God has used to change me, mark me, and hone in on what may be the message of my life. I usually post one memorial blog about Dan each year, but this year I am posting twice — April 21, 2024 HERE, and today on October 20.
Sad Friday
I woke up heavyhearted this past Friday on the 38th anniversary of Dan’s accident. I laid awake for a while considering what I wanted to be doing at 1:00 to show reverence to my brother. Did I want to be on my knees praying? Did I want to cry? Did I want to be on a walk and stop to reflect quietly as I took in nature’s beauty?
Happy Friday
As I was pondering this sad anniversary, I remembered the time! It was 6:56 a.m. An important event was about to start at 7:00. I checked my messages and opened a video sent from a group of people overseas greeting me with smiles, waves and giggles as they started the first session of a bible study I wrote, One Gritty Blink.
The sad and happy are connected.
The person who sent me the video this week in 2024 was also the person in 1986 who drove me to the hospital when I got the news about Dan and was too distraught to drive. The bible study being taught this week in 2024 was forged within me as a direct result of processing Dan’s death in 1986.
God knew about 2024.
There I was this Friday morning, still in bed, watching 1986 and 2024 converge. On that horrific day in 1986 God already knew what He was going to forge in the furnace of my suffering. God knew the broken, grieving, distraught 25-year-old woman would place a bible in her lap and write a book to heal. The Lord knew in 1986 that I would then take a key portion of the book — the concept of a dot and string — and
base a bible study on the principle of life being One Gritty Blink compared to eternity. God knew that in 2024 I would be helping people see time differently.
Experiencing the direct connection between 1986 and 2024 this past Friday was a taste of how God experiences time. On October 18, 1986, God didn’t see October 18, 2024 “down the road.” He saw 1986 and 2024 simultaneously because, to God, one thousand years is like a day.
What causes the time warp?
I did some research on 2 Peter 3:8 featured at the top of this blog and happened upon THIS comment. It’s a beauty.
What is insisted on is simply this—that distinctions of long and short time are nothing in the sight of God; delay is a purely human conception.
In God’s experience, there wasn’t a 37-year delay between Dan’s accident and the resulting bible study this week! Delay is a purely human conception. You and I live in 4th dimension as we move around in time and space experiencing time as linear. God lives outside of time in 5th dimension. He can see the entire picture all at once without waiting to see what will happen. He already knows the beginning and the end.
Let’s not be tricked.
But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:9)
None of us knows the date of our last day on earth. What we do know is that God chases us with His love our entire lives through circumstances, His Word, church communities and relationships. He chased my brother Dan, and He chases all of the people you know as well. He chased you, or is chasing you. Which one is it? His Where are you? in the garden continues to reverberate through history.
We don’t know if we have tomorrow. May we not be tricked into thinking time is linear and long. May we not believe we can put things off without consequence. That is such a lie.
We can start tapping our foot in impatience after one day of being still, but God can get a thousand years worth of things done in one day while we are on pause. He can also get a thousand years worth of accomplishments completed from one day of our work. He is not living in the construct of time like we are, and what He does with our lives is not bound by time either. So whatever God is prompting us to do,
Let’s not delay.
Picture Explanation: My mom and I got to visit this week, and she brought me a set of new pictures! The first one in this post is the most special. I have been looking for it. These were the final minutes I saw Dan. He was on the curb as I pulled away to go home from a family event.
We miss you terribly, Dan, but God has met me in the grief.
P.S. – What did I end up doing at 1:00 on October 18 to remember Dan? I was putting the final touches on this post at 12:50, then I headed to my closet to put on Dan’s college football jacket and started to bawl. God and I had a good talk.
This is my twelfth memorial post about my brother. If you want to go back and read any of the prior posts, the links are here: 2024, 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014
Speaking of living a short life with eternity in mind: If you want to join the next study of One Gritty Blink, click on the Oaks Ministries link in the copyright line and send me an email so I can place you on a list to be contacted to participate in a future study! Let’s not just focus on things in this short life, but also what counts for eternity.
Note: No part of my posts are derived from A.I. Thoughts and writing stem from my mind and heart as I process life week-by-week and continue to grow in my understanding of God and how to apply His wisdom to the world around me.
© 2024 by Oaks Ministries. All rights reserved.
I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth. So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes growth.
1 Corinthians 3:6
4 Responses
Hi, Sweet, Friend. I certainly remembered that this is your “hard month.” I wanted to express to you a couple of times this month that I remembered although I couldn’t remember the exact day. How amazing that the very day you were grieving, you were also rejoicing in what God had done! How kind of God to allow these two dates to come together in his timing! How very wonderful it is that our Lord cares about each of our days and each of our tears! How beautiful it is that your faith has been proven in the fires. Thank you for faithfully sharing with your readers what Dan meant to you and all that you have learned through your grieving. In just a little while, Dear Friend, you will be with Dan again. In just a little while.
In just a little while. True for each of us.
This sentence was a stand-out to me: How very wonderful it is that our Lord cares about each of our days and each of our tears! This is also true for each of us. Every single day. Every single tear. These are not a blur to God like they are for us. He sees our lives and hearts with clarity and tender love. He is near.
Thank you for being an integral part of this story with me. I love you, friend.
Oh, Laurie, this is a beautiful post. Isn’t it just like God to take the one thing that causes the most pain in our lives to grow us and shape us? ….and yes, God meets us in our grief, faithfully day after day and year after year. I love the verse that declares time to be different for God than us.
and I love how you remembered Dan by wearing his football jacket. thank you for sharing your heart and journey…
I thought of you the entire time I was writing. Wondered if the concept of time on earth being incredibly short compared to eternity brought you comfort as well as you grieve for your husband. Our grieving processes are so personal and unique, so I dare not compare.
I may be wearing his jacket again today. It’s football season, after all.