For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. (2 Timothy 4:6-7)
I have been in this desperate place lately, asking God to not waste my life.
He and I have spent hours together as I study the Bible, write talks, and then give them. He and I have spent hours in prayer as I invite Him to use all of my relationships with people for His glory. I ask that He leverage each relationship toward the Kingdom, either to point people to Jesus, mature them in the faith, or that they spur me on to know God better. As for my children, I have done my dead-level best to teach them about Jesus and model for them what God’s love looks like.
Why have I been feeling so underutilized?
For one, I can’t see people really responding in any visible ways lately. Things feel so much the same. And much about my life looks small. Small blog. Small job. Small family. Small audiences. How, God? All the beautiful things you have taught me. All of those hours. Where is it all going? I can’t see. Please don’t waste anything I have sown in faith, even the tiniest little thing.
No one person seems super interested.
No one has really soaked it all up. Sure, my children have probably soaked up most of my life perspectives, but not the Bible knowledge, those pages of wealth and richness. My manna. It feels like so much of what God has done and taught is still trapped inside of me.
But recently I had a thought that finally settled my soul.
I have strewn seeds widely, all the way back to when I was in middle school. And if God would simply allow each of the seeds I have sown in faith to grow to its fullest extent, then nothing about my life will be wasted.
I can trust Him with that.
How do we position ourselves to live a life that gets poured out? All of it poured out. Not one drop remaining.
As a child of God, invite Him into all you do, then walk in the power of His Spirit to live like well, sowing seeds of His Kingdom everywhere you go. Sow seeds of teaching, example, writing, friendship, discipleship, sacrificial love. Seize every opportunity.
Then trust Him – and ask Him – to grow each seed to its fullest extent.
Planting even just one acorn produces an oak tree years later that lives beyond our life-spans. Imagine all the acorns we have scattered – one toward this person, another toward that person. They are crunching under our feet! Sure, we have scattered some in self-effort instead of faith, but He may even grow those for the sake of the other person, if not for us. We know He will absolutely grow each and every seed that has been planted in faith.
And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward. (Matthew 10:42)
He takes even the smallest of efforts done in faith and grows them exponentially. No one person has soaked up all God has done in and through us, but God has scattered our efforts everywhere, both the grand and small. In His hands, each will grow. It’s the kingdom way.
He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.” (Matthew 13:31-32)
Consider praying this prayer. Based on last week’s post HERE, consider praying it fervently.
I invite You to infiltrate all parts of my life with Yourself, leveraging all aspects of my life for Your Kingdom as I walk closely with You. Please don’t waste any of it. I ask that every iota of what You have done in my life, and every aspect of truth I have shared, be left behind to grow to its fullest. I pray all the parts of my life are somehow poured out and absorbed into Your story. May every last drop disappear into the ground on which it is sown and become irretrievable. I want this short life to glorify Your name and You do too, so I trust you to accomplish what I know is Your will.
In Jesus Christ’s name,
Picture Explanation: These were happy moments in my week. A neighbor gave me the tulips and I smiled every time I entered my kitchen this week. The Greek tray is my favorite dinner to go at Costco and makes my tummy happy for a few days. And my son makes me happy every time he throws his arm around my shoulder, which thankfully, he does a lot.
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